foot theory

I think it's due time that we discuss how limiting the idiom "getting cold feet" really is.  As if your feet only feel one way right before you're about to do something really incredibly scary.  No, no, no.  It's more like getting sometimes-freezing-occasionally-sore-and-sweaty-monster-feet-with-sores-and-blisters.  And that actually doesn't even begin to cover it.

Based on my experience the past month and my anticipations about the future, I have (with the help of my dear friend Alie Glaser) developed a four-phase foot-changing theory about the basic process that individuals go through in stressful situations.  Except this post is mostly just about my feet.

One particularly important thing to point out, and perhaps the reason "cold feet" has been so often used as the overarching foot feeling for scary situations, is that feet are initially really cold when they first get involved in the whole process (that is, when you really begin thinking about what you're going to do and the consequences you're going to face for doing it).  This phase hit me hard around the end of April when I started thinking about not seeing my friends for a year and missing out on timeless Tufts traditions such as Winterfest and Jumbo Day.  I'd like to say that my personal determination and support from friends and family is what got me through these dark periods without backing out, but let's be honest.  My plane ticket was expensive.

So once you get past the "cold feet" stage (which is by far the longest most painful, according to my speculation), your feet begin to warm up a little.  It's as if a good friend just let you borrow their wool socks--still a little uncomfortable, but you're not crying anymore.  (That is, unless at the end of your cold feet stage, you're bombarded by final exams and all of your friends decide to leave you.  Then the transition is a little bit more rocky.)  This is currently where I am right now.  It's kind of a weird in-between gray area that I don't really enjoy because there isn't enough definition about how I'm supposed to feel.  And I need guidelines.

The third foot phase, hot feet (footo caliente), is fast approaching, and should be an interesting ride.  I anticipate it setting in at its most definite point when I'm waiting for my cab to go to the airport.  The scary thing about hot feet is once you reach this phase there's no turning back.  It's kind of like getting stuck in a mosh pit at a sweaty concert--while you're really uncomfortable and kind of scared you might get trampled and die, the intensity is thrilling, and you're having a great time overall.

Sometime between the point when I pop my Tylenol PM on the airplane and when the landing gear makes contact with ground in the homeland, I'll transition to phase four: numb feet.  It should really be called Phase Oprah because you can literally do anything (like walk across hot coals!).  It's pilot mode, you know?  Zombie mode.  Robot mode.  You do whatever you have to do.  I'm actually really excited about this phase.  It will be like finals week all over again (but with less Tisch and more windows).  [Note:  I have no idea why I not only said that this phase would be like finals week, but also that I would enjoy it.  I've tried to reevaluate those two statements, and both stand.  I don't understand either.]

What happens after numb feet?  I guess shit gets real and I can stop talking about my emotions in terms of foot feelings.  No promises, though.